Florida: sun and sand, my dream come true!

 

We recently took a vacation to visit some friends of ours that live in Florida. It was AWESOME! We spent our days waking up and running in the beautiful weather, spending all afternoon at the beach, or pool and at night we got to eat at some pretty cool restaurants. Oh and did I mention that the best part was that I got to hang out with one of my favorite people everyday? (Besides Tyler). The week went by way too fast. When the weekend came we drove to New Orleans. On our way we stopped at a gator farm and we got to see alligators and ride an air boat! Lots of new firsts this trip for us. New Orleans (NOLA), was great, I loved the architecture and culture. The market was fun to walk around and we took a history tour around town and in one of the cemeteries. Our tour guide was less than great, his water was spiked with something a little bit strong for early afternoon, but it provided us with some extra free entertainment. The food was also amazing. Sadly every vacation has to end. We drove to Mobile Alabama where our flight was schedule to leave from. Luckily on the way we stopped in Biloxi Mississippi where my cousin lives with his cute family. We were able to spend some time with them which was awesome, I hadn't seen them in years! We flew home the next day and said goodbye to our friends and the beach. Hopefully we will get to visit again soon! Here is a few pics from the trip.

Crawfish festival! It was quite the experience

 

Pensacola beach

My favorite little house/old gas station

Eating at Lamberts

Playing at the beach

First 5K of the year, hosted by McGuire's Irish restuarant

Destin Florida

Swimming with the sharks, ok! Also stepped on a sting ray this day...

Best Friends tanning on the beach!

Peg leg Pete's

Blue Angels museum

Gator farm in Mississippi

 

 

Our tour guide feeding the gators

The swamps

Next stop- New Orleans!! NOLA!! Burbon street

 

Taking a tour of the cemeteries. Our tour guide was interesting, and no that is not water in the bottle he is holding.

Just finished eating at Cafe Du Monde, then walked around the sights!

We stopped in Buloxi Mississippi to see one of favorite cousins! I was so happy to visit with them for an evening, we live too far away!

 

Goodbye gulf coast! We will miss the sun, sand, and friends! Hopefully we will visit again soon!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Changes

I started my blog because it was suggested to have one when we started the whole adoption process. I really hesitated about starting one, we are pretty private people, I wasn't into reading other people's and I didn't see how posting about our life was going to get us any closer to starting our family. But with social media changing our life's and people becoming more high tech I can see the sense behind the theory. With that in mind I've decided to add another section to my blog. I want to have a section dedicated to infertility. We have meet so many amazing couples, through our struggles. And sometimes the only way I got through a hard day was calling or texting a friend who knew exactly what I was going through. My plan, (hopefully this will work), is to not only share my story but get some of my close friends, and new friends, to share theirs. I think writing can be therapeutic and sharing your story can release a burden you may not have known you were carrying. And to lighten the mood I hope to include the stuff we can laugh at. Because when you are living in the moment sometimes its laugh or cry and I usually choose to laugh. So if you want to be included in this venture, message or email me your experience. If you want to remain anonymous to protect the innocent, haha, I won't tell anyone where the origin of the stories come from. :). tyler_jessica11@yahoo.com

I don't remember where I found this, probably Facebook or Pinterest, but it describes exactly how me and Tyler feel. It's hard to give up, so that's why we continue to hope.

Happy National Infertility Week!

This week is national infertility week ( I bet you had no idea this even existed) and I wanted to post some helpful links for those of my friends who may be struggling through this. Or maybe if you know someone who is struggling and you are too scared to ask about it or don't know how to help. I also find it ironic that they place "infertility week" during the time that stores and commercials are starting to get people excited about Mothers Day. So please take some time to read and then go give your friend that's struggling a great big hug or send her a note on Mothers Day! It can be the hardest time of the year for someone who wants to be a mother so badly and can't. I personally know some amazing, strong women who have or are experience fertility problems and I want them to know that this post if for you! Tyler and I have had great support as we have gone through our struggles and it makes a huge difference knowing there are people rooting for you. Thank you!

Infertility 101- what it is and what it isn't Both great articles
http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/infertility-101.html
http://www.redbookmag.com/health-wellness/advice/dealing-with-infertility

If you know someone struggling with this condition and don't know what to do or say read these:
(Please remember that I post these links in love and I do not mean to offend or point fingers at anyone, we sometimes say things without knowing how the other person is going to take it or what they have been through already)

http://www.resolve.org/support-and-services/for-family--friends/infertility-etiquette.html?log-event=sp2f-view-item&nid=291878739

http://blog.attainfertility.com/2011/12/infertility-relatives/#.UXhmB8u9KSM

I'm sharing this link because these people are awesome to put this website together (hopefully they don't mind I shared)
http://thehudsonfoundation.storenvy.com/

If you don't look up anything else, WATCH this video. I showed it to Tyler when I found it about a year ago and we laughed. Because sometimes it's too hard to face something without a little humor!

http://vimeo.com/30677901

If you have any other experiences you would like to share, helpful links or humorous things to add message me I would love to include it next time. Have a great week everyone!

A bit of Luck

I have been neglecting posting anything because there hasn't been any new, exciting adoption news to share, and because I've been hard at work on our class reunion blog. My ten year class reunion is happening in June. Am I old enough to be graduated for 10 years? I don't feel like it, but I guess it's true. It has been fun to get together with girls I graduated with and plan this reunion. I've had a bit of nostalgia lately and I truly do miss the high school days. But no matter how much I miss it, I wouldn't go back and repeat anything! I'm sure I'll have to post an update on all the fun. :)

 

In honor of St. Patrick's day I thought I'd share a little bit of Ireland! Tyler served a full time mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in Ireland. We had the chance to travel back there in 2006 and visit some of the places he served. It was a once in a lifetime trip! It was beautiful, the culture was so different and the food was pretty good. We had a great time, with a few hiccups along the way that made the trip unforgettable. The first night we were in Irelane we traveled north to Belfast.


It was right around Christmas time and they had a huge "Christmas around the world" market in the square. Delicious food from surrounding countries lined up booth after booth, hand made ornaments, christmas decorations and knick knacks. We had just one small problem. No money! We had been traveling for 24 hours, made a hotel switch last minute, (cause there was no way me and Tyler were going to sleep on a futon), walked around carrying our luggage in the rain, and then we found out no business excepted travelers checks. Our bank gave us some bad information. No one would except American money or take a credit/debit card either. No problem right? Just use an ATM. If I only knew my pin number for my credit card. Neither one of us had ever used an ATM before. Good thing my father in law was there to save the day. After multiple attempts at several different cards he finally guessed a pin number that worked! Yeah, we wouldn't starve after all! We had a great night sampling the different foods. My favorite was a strawberry tart from France. The rest of the trip went smoothly. We did have a few problems with a couple places I booked for us online, but we made the best of it. And the scenery totally made up for having to travel further than we had figured on. We drove all the way from the North to the Southern tip of Ireland. Tyler served around the whole island so everywhere we went he was able to show a thing or two about that area.

I couldn't get over how well the architecture blended in with the natural surroundings. My camera shutter was on overdrive.

We went to several cemeteries and cathedrals.

 

We also went to many castles. A few are famous and some we found along the road. This is a view of the scenery from atop Blarney Castle. After we had kissed the Blarney stone of course.

 

When we were in Southern Ireland this was the view from our condo deck. If you can't tell it was very overcast and cold that day. Oh wait, it's like that everyday.

This is a view of St. Patrick's Park. I figured I better included it since we just had a holiday in his name. :)

 

One of the highlights of the trip was meeting the family Tyler had baptized on his mission. Pauline was pregnant and about the time Tyler came home she had had her baby. They name him after Tyler.  Someday we hope to go back again.

 

To finish my post I just have to give a shout out to the cutest Grandpa in the world. We just celebrated his 97th birthday. Up until a few months ago he was completely independent. He walked to the post office and grocery store everyday. He's been an amazing example to me and I admire his strenght. I love this candid photo of him walking with my nephew. Love you grandpa!

With a little bit of Irish luck maybe next time I post I will have an adoption update. I'll keep wearing my four leaf clover until then! Erin Go Bragh! (Gaelic for Ireland forever)

Happy Valentines Day!

 

 

                A lot has happened since last Valentine’s Day. Last year on Valentine’s Day we woke up early and started heading to Boise for my appointment. After weeks of getting IM (intramuscular) hormone injections it was time to do invitro again. My sister in law and her two kids traveled with us, mainly to keep Tyler company while I was on bed rest. We were optimistic that this time would work; it was Valentine’s Day after all! About the time we had past Pocatello I received a phone call from my doctor, which was unusual because I usually talked to the nurses. She had some bad news, while unfreezing our frozen embryos we only had one survive the process and to make it even worse the embryo that survived was not our best egg. She advised that we bag it. (She said it in a more doctor like manner of course.)  I talked her into implanting it anyway, we were already on our way and I had not just gotten IM injections for the last month two to three times a day for nothing! Needless to say my hormones were doing the talking. I got off the phone told Tyler what was happening and started to cry. Thank goodness for Tyler, he cheered me right up and reminded me that we were only suppose to think happy thoughts this round! So after my personal cheerleader changed the mood we started to call our little egg “Nemo”, and decided that it was going to be ok after all.  We went to the appointment, everything went great and then I spent the evening in a medicated haze while Tyler took his sister out for the evening.  We stayed with my brother in laws mom and she treated us like family the second we walked in the door. I was treated like a princess and basically didn’t have to do one thing for myself. We had a great week getting to know them and building memories that we will always remember, thank you so much “D” and “D”.

                As you have probably guessed by now, invitro, once again, did not work for us. We don’t regret giving it a try, we learned a lot about each other. (Although it would be nice to have our money back.) Not many people knew we were trying invitro, just our friends and family.  It was something we did in private, this is the first time I have talked about it publicly, and even now I’m having second thoughts whether to share this on our very public blog.  Hopefully it will show how ready and willing we are to start our family through adoption. And not just because nothing else has worked, but because we realized how important having family is. We would not have made it through the last year without our friends and families support. From the encouraging words, to prayers, to being willing to give me a shot in the butt! Yes, you heard right, it is extremely hard, but not impossible, to give yourself an IM injection in your gluteus maximus.  Good thing I’m a nurse and worked with plenty of people who already had the right skills. Nurse “A” gave me my first one, she is super nice and doesn’t like to hurt anybody so when I handed her the honey like substance in a syringe with an 18 gauge needle I thought she might back out.  And my brave sister in law was taught by my friend “C” to give me the shots in the evening. I tried to teach Tyler, but it didn’t go well. He has many skills but giving shots is not one of them, he does not like needles.  ;)       
               
               If we have learned anything the past year it is that there is no limit to the amount of love that our hearts can hold, family is not determined by blood alone, and to cherish every day we have.  We know there is a special mother and child out there that is waiting to become part of our family. We will continue to wait patiently for you to come into our lives at the right time.  

            
               In the meantime, we celebrated Valentines Day just the two of us. We ate at our favorite Thai restaurant and stopped by Sammy’s  for dessert.  (A shake with a piece of pie mixed in, they are yummy, this is the second time we have gottent one, I’m sure they aren’t healthy for you.) We were in for a surprise, free entertainment, a poetry slam. Neither one of us had been to a poetry slam before, it was a unique experience.  We had a great night and we hope you did too!

 

 

Adoption Info

            I've had a lot of questions about how the adoption process works. How people “find” you. It's not like it was in the olden days where the mother would place her baby for adoption, the agency would determine what couple/family would receive this baby, and the mother would never see or hear about the child ever again. Now there are profiles listed on websites, a lot of profiles, and the birth mother/father can browse through profiles of couples/families and decide which couples they would like to get to know better. Once they have chosen a couple they can contact the couple through whatever agency listed their profile or they can contact them directly. Some like to email questions back and forth, others meet face to face. With the help of technology and social websites others go through facebook or Skype. The "meeting" can be affected by geography or the level of involvement that the birth mother is comfortable with. So once you're profile is posted you could get news at any time! It can be nerve wracking waiting for an email or phone call. It can consume your every thought and action. I remember the week our profile got published. I think I checked our email at least 10 times a day, haha. Obsessed? Yes I was! Or as I like to tell myself I was just really, really, excited. 

            We have had the experience of meeting face to face with a birth mother and father. I won’t get into too much detail out of respect for their privacy, but I will say I was super nervous. Until Tyler gently reminded me, "She's probably twice as scared as we are." I put myself in her shoes and thought; yeah I would be scared out of my mind! I'd probably break out in hives or puke, which are two things that frequently happen to me when I get really nervous. (Nursing boards- story for a different day.)  Good thing Tyler is around to remain calm, cool and collected. We received a phone call from our case worker, he said there were birth parents who wanted to meet in the next day or two. A few text messages later my shift was covered and Tyler was able to rearrange his appointments. That's the beauty of adoption, you never know when you are going to be contacted. The meeting ended up going well. It was an awkward first few minutes, but then ice breakers melted and we had an easy conversation. We are glad it happened, even if it didn't end in placement. Every experience teaches us something and prepares us for the next. We have had our first face to face, things went good and now I won't be as nervous next time. We have also been contacted through email. It's crazy how you find yourself second guessing all of your responses. After I had emailed a particular birth mother back for the first time, I reread what I wrote and questioned the way I had answered. "What if she thinks this is dumb? Or should I have written it this way? Man I sounded like a cheese ball in that sentence." And the list went on, Tyler could add to it as well. Ultimately I know you have to be yourself. There is no use pretending to be who you are not. The goal is for the birth parents to find a couple/family that will be the best fit for the child they are placing for adoption. If what we are isn’t what they are looking for, it’s ok because there is a different child out there. Which is way easier to say (or type) than in real life. Way easier.

            Going through this process has been hard. Anyone who has gone through either side of an adoption will tell you that and could explain it way better than me I’m sure.  People are judging you! I mean literally; they are investigating if you are the parents they are looking for. Not only will they know the good stuff about you, they will probably pick up on your flaws too.  I can sympathize a little with celebrities, having your life examined and investigated. Hahaha just kidding, but it does make me feel a little better about having our information out there for anybody to look at. I understand why it has to be this way, and we are ok with it, it just took some getting use to. I think even worse than having your life on display is the waiting and the wondering. Did they choose a different couple after they contacted us or did they decide not to place their baby for adoption?  We will always wonder how things turned out for them (the people we have had brief contact with) and if everything turned out ok, we pray that it does. So for now we will continue to wait and hope it will be worth it in the end.

          I hope that this helps people understand how this part of adoption works. I know our families have had a lot of questions and maybe don't know what to say or how to help cause they don't know what is going on. Don't worry, half the time we don't know what's going on either. :) When we made the decision to start our famliy through adoption we were beginning this blind. I hope that others can learn from our mistakes/experienes and their journey will be a little less bumpy!  

 

 

Getting back to normal

Wow the holidays came and went so fast. I blinked and November and December were over.  We had an awesome holiday season and we hope you did too! Here is a look at what we were up to!

For Thanksgiving we did something completely different. We took my family, (minus a sibling)  to Mesquite. It was a nice warm get away. We played by the pool, went shopping and enjoyed the warmer weather. Thanksgiving night we went to a casino and ate at the all you can eat buffet. The best part about it was no cleaning up!! The food really wasn’t as good as home made. We worked up our appetites by exploring a place called Whitney Pockets. It took over an hour and half to get there on dirt roads, but in the end it ended up being fun.

We were all hoping my sted dad wouldn't be able to get any higher. He was like a climbing monkey. All I could think about was "It's a long way to any civilization, itleast I know CPR if he falls."

Recreating the Lion King moment.

Casino food

 

My little sis with our cute niece and nephew.

My brother and his wife.

We took our nephews to the motor cross races at the Mesquite tracks.

 It was hot, but the boys never complained.

Black Friday shopping! We did great for our first experience. I got an Ipad, some awesome Christmas toys for the nephews, and my mom got a big screen tv! Thanks to my little sis who can intimidate the best of them! I'm glad you didn't have to throw any punches~

Merry Christmas! Both of our families live here in town so we get to celebrate twice!

Our first celebration was with my family. I had to work so we headed over when I got off.

We had some good food, played games and opened presents.

 

 

This is our 2nd celebration. We were in the computer room watching the Santa Tracker. The nephews loved following him on the screen.

 

Little did they know he was coming to Grandmas! The arm raised in the arm is my oldest nephew cheering that Santa was finally here.  

Grandpa's boys

Most of the nephews were cooperative and dressed up like shephards while the Christmas story was read. Later they decided it was funner to use the sticks as weapons. We need a girl in the family.

 

Our Christmas break wouldn't be complete without going for a ride! 

Island Park is beautiful, it's even prettier when it's covered in snow.  

The guys taking a break. I got stuck and almost hit that tree on the right side of the pic.

Lucky for me I have patient brother in laws who will help dig me out!

 

So Pretty!

This year the oldest nephew got to go, he really wanted to ride with me, until he saw me get stuck.

Then he was content to ride with his dad or Grandpa. He really enjoyed teasing me.

The whole group!

 

 

We ran in the new year by spending time with friends.

 

I added this one just because I could! Tyler owed this to Cortney. Now if we could only get him to wear it all the way to Florida, we'd get his plane ticket paid for!

We are both thankful for the great year. It had it's ups and downs but we have a great family and wonderful friends that helped us through! Wishing all of you a Happy New Year!