Happy Valentines Day!

 

 

                A lot has happened since last Valentine’s Day. Last year on Valentine’s Day we woke up early and started heading to Boise for my appointment. After weeks of getting IM (intramuscular) hormone injections it was time to do invitro again. My sister in law and her two kids traveled with us, mainly to keep Tyler company while I was on bed rest. We were optimistic that this time would work; it was Valentine’s Day after all! About the time we had past Pocatello I received a phone call from my doctor, which was unusual because I usually talked to the nurses. She had some bad news, while unfreezing our frozen embryos we only had one survive the process and to make it even worse the embryo that survived was not our best egg. She advised that we bag it. (She said it in a more doctor like manner of course.)  I talked her into implanting it anyway, we were already on our way and I had not just gotten IM injections for the last month two to three times a day for nothing! Needless to say my hormones were doing the talking. I got off the phone told Tyler what was happening and started to cry. Thank goodness for Tyler, he cheered me right up and reminded me that we were only suppose to think happy thoughts this round! So after my personal cheerleader changed the mood we started to call our little egg “Nemo”, and decided that it was going to be ok after all.  We went to the appointment, everything went great and then I spent the evening in a medicated haze while Tyler took his sister out for the evening.  We stayed with my brother in laws mom and she treated us like family the second we walked in the door. I was treated like a princess and basically didn’t have to do one thing for myself. We had a great week getting to know them and building memories that we will always remember, thank you so much “D” and “D”.

                As you have probably guessed by now, invitro, once again, did not work for us. We don’t regret giving it a try, we learned a lot about each other. (Although it would be nice to have our money back.) Not many people knew we were trying invitro, just our friends and family.  It was something we did in private, this is the first time I have talked about it publicly, and even now I’m having second thoughts whether to share this on our very public blog.  Hopefully it will show how ready and willing we are to start our family through adoption. And not just because nothing else has worked, but because we realized how important having family is. We would not have made it through the last year without our friends and families support. From the encouraging words, to prayers, to being willing to give me a shot in the butt! Yes, you heard right, it is extremely hard, but not impossible, to give yourself an IM injection in your gluteus maximus.  Good thing I’m a nurse and worked with plenty of people who already had the right skills. Nurse “A” gave me my first one, she is super nice and doesn’t like to hurt anybody so when I handed her the honey like substance in a syringe with an 18 gauge needle I thought she might back out.  And my brave sister in law was taught by my friend “C” to give me the shots in the evening. I tried to teach Tyler, but it didn’t go well. He has many skills but giving shots is not one of them, he does not like needles.  ;)       
               
               If we have learned anything the past year it is that there is no limit to the amount of love that our hearts can hold, family is not determined by blood alone, and to cherish every day we have.  We know there is a special mother and child out there that is waiting to become part of our family. We will continue to wait patiently for you to come into our lives at the right time.  

            
               In the meantime, we celebrated Valentines Day just the two of us. We ate at our favorite Thai restaurant and stopped by Sammy’s  for dessert.  (A shake with a piece of pie mixed in, they are yummy, this is the second time we have gottent one, I’m sure they aren’t healthy for you.) We were in for a surprise, free entertainment, a poetry slam. Neither one of us had been to a poetry slam before, it was a unique experience.  We had a great night and we hope you did too!

 

 

Adoption Info

            I've had a lot of questions about how the adoption process works. How people “find” you. It's not like it was in the olden days where the mother would place her baby for adoption, the agency would determine what couple/family would receive this baby, and the mother would never see or hear about the child ever again. Now there are profiles listed on websites, a lot of profiles, and the birth mother/father can browse through profiles of couples/families and decide which couples they would like to get to know better. Once they have chosen a couple they can contact the couple through whatever agency listed their profile or they can contact them directly. Some like to email questions back and forth, others meet face to face. With the help of technology and social websites others go through facebook or Skype. The "meeting" can be affected by geography or the level of involvement that the birth mother is comfortable with. So once you're profile is posted you could get news at any time! It can be nerve wracking waiting for an email or phone call. It can consume your every thought and action. I remember the week our profile got published. I think I checked our email at least 10 times a day, haha. Obsessed? Yes I was! Or as I like to tell myself I was just really, really, excited. 

            We have had the experience of meeting face to face with a birth mother and father. I won’t get into too much detail out of respect for their privacy, but I will say I was super nervous. Until Tyler gently reminded me, "She's probably twice as scared as we are." I put myself in her shoes and thought; yeah I would be scared out of my mind! I'd probably break out in hives or puke, which are two things that frequently happen to me when I get really nervous. (Nursing boards- story for a different day.)  Good thing Tyler is around to remain calm, cool and collected. We received a phone call from our case worker, he said there were birth parents who wanted to meet in the next day or two. A few text messages later my shift was covered and Tyler was able to rearrange his appointments. That's the beauty of adoption, you never know when you are going to be contacted. The meeting ended up going well. It was an awkward first few minutes, but then ice breakers melted and we had an easy conversation. We are glad it happened, even if it didn't end in placement. Every experience teaches us something and prepares us for the next. We have had our first face to face, things went good and now I won't be as nervous next time. We have also been contacted through email. It's crazy how you find yourself second guessing all of your responses. After I had emailed a particular birth mother back for the first time, I reread what I wrote and questioned the way I had answered. "What if she thinks this is dumb? Or should I have written it this way? Man I sounded like a cheese ball in that sentence." And the list went on, Tyler could add to it as well. Ultimately I know you have to be yourself. There is no use pretending to be who you are not. The goal is for the birth parents to find a couple/family that will be the best fit for the child they are placing for adoption. If what we are isn’t what they are looking for, it’s ok because there is a different child out there. Which is way easier to say (or type) than in real life. Way easier.

            Going through this process has been hard. Anyone who has gone through either side of an adoption will tell you that and could explain it way better than me I’m sure.  People are judging you! I mean literally; they are investigating if you are the parents they are looking for. Not only will they know the good stuff about you, they will probably pick up on your flaws too.  I can sympathize a little with celebrities, having your life examined and investigated. Hahaha just kidding, but it does make me feel a little better about having our information out there for anybody to look at. I understand why it has to be this way, and we are ok with it, it just took some getting use to. I think even worse than having your life on display is the waiting and the wondering. Did they choose a different couple after they contacted us or did they decide not to place their baby for adoption?  We will always wonder how things turned out for them (the people we have had brief contact with) and if everything turned out ok, we pray that it does. So for now we will continue to wait and hope it will be worth it in the end.

          I hope that this helps people understand how this part of adoption works. I know our families have had a lot of questions and maybe don't know what to say or how to help cause they don't know what is going on. Don't worry, half the time we don't know what's going on either. :) When we made the decision to start our famliy through adoption we were beginning this blind. I hope that others can learn from our mistakes/experienes and their journey will be a little less bumpy!  

 

 

Getting back to normal

Wow the holidays came and went so fast. I blinked and November and December were over.  We had an awesome holiday season and we hope you did too! Here is a look at what we were up to!

For Thanksgiving we did something completely different. We took my family, (minus a sibling)  to Mesquite. It was a nice warm get away. We played by the pool, went shopping and enjoyed the warmer weather. Thanksgiving night we went to a casino and ate at the all you can eat buffet. The best part about it was no cleaning up!! The food really wasn’t as good as home made. We worked up our appetites by exploring a place called Whitney Pockets. It took over an hour and half to get there on dirt roads, but in the end it ended up being fun.

We were all hoping my sted dad wouldn't be able to get any higher. He was like a climbing monkey. All I could think about was "It's a long way to any civilization, itleast I know CPR if he falls."

Recreating the Lion King moment.

Casino food

 

My little sis with our cute niece and nephew.

My brother and his wife.

We took our nephews to the motor cross races at the Mesquite tracks.

 It was hot, but the boys never complained.

Black Friday shopping! We did great for our first experience. I got an Ipad, some awesome Christmas toys for the nephews, and my mom got a big screen tv! Thanks to my little sis who can intimidate the best of them! I'm glad you didn't have to throw any punches~

Merry Christmas! Both of our families live here in town so we get to celebrate twice!

Our first celebration was with my family. I had to work so we headed over when I got off.

We had some good food, played games and opened presents.

 

 

This is our 2nd celebration. We were in the computer room watching the Santa Tracker. The nephews loved following him on the screen.

 

Little did they know he was coming to Grandmas! The arm raised in the arm is my oldest nephew cheering that Santa was finally here.  

Grandpa's boys

Most of the nephews were cooperative and dressed up like shephards while the Christmas story was read. Later they decided it was funner to use the sticks as weapons. We need a girl in the family.

 

Our Christmas break wouldn't be complete without going for a ride! 

Island Park is beautiful, it's even prettier when it's covered in snow.  

The guys taking a break. I got stuck and almost hit that tree on the right side of the pic.

Lucky for me I have patient brother in laws who will help dig me out!

 

So Pretty!

This year the oldest nephew got to go, he really wanted to ride with me, until he saw me get stuck.

Then he was content to ride with his dad or Grandpa. He really enjoyed teasing me.

The whole group!

 

 

We ran in the new year by spending time with friends.

 

I added this one just because I could! Tyler owed this to Cortney. Now if we could only get him to wear it all the way to Florida, we'd get his plane ticket paid for!

We are both thankful for the great year. It had it's ups and downs but we have a great family and wonderful friends that helped us through! Wishing all of you a Happy New Year!

 

 

 

This is Halloween

 

 

 

 October was an awesome month, and why wouldn't it be? People pass out candy, play tricks on eachother and get to dress up in costume! Not to mention the haunted straw mazes, houses and scary movies! If you can't tell Halloween is a big deal at our house. The best part of Halloween is the party we throw every year for the past 4 years. It's an open invitation to anyone who wants to come eat good food, dress up and play games. It's been fun to see our friends and family get more and more creative and out going each year with their costumes and I love watching people come out of their shell during game time. Here is some pictures from this years Halloween party. (If you are pictured and want me to take it off the blog, no problem just let me know and I can delete it off the post. Thanks everybody for letting me share your awesome costumes!)

 

 

This is the kitchen, it took a while to set up!

 

I slept (or didn't sleep) in perm rods all night in preparation for my costume Tyler thought I was crazy, but I ran errands Saturday morning like this.

 

The only good thing about having an unfinished basement? It makes for a great location for a Halloween party!

And the guests start to arrive!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I took a 1 roll per team of packaging tape and wrapped candy into a ball. Each team had the same amount of candy in their ball and the first one to unwrap it wins!

The mummy wrap is always great. They covered Jen completely!

Ron attempting to keep all 3 balloons in the air. His fairy skills didn't help him out this time.

Here are some pictures from other games we did.

 

 

This was the hardest challenge, one potate, 5 straws and 5 candies balanced on the straw~

 

Best costume awards Scariest, funniest, prettiest, best girl and best boy costumes

Me and my baby sister

 

Natalie created Tyler's beard for his Seneca Crane costume. Took her 2 hours, but it was worth it! 

 

Tyler and his dad

 

 

 

Here's what we were going for. Seneca Crane and Effie Trinket from the Hunger Games!

The party was so much fun and we only have our friends and family to thank! Thanks for coming, dressing up and being good sports about the games. I can't wait to plan next years party. :)

The fun didn't stop there. I worked Halloween day and we got to dress up!

 

 

Blast from the past! Welcome to the 70s and 80s

Tie dye, srunchies and hair spray oh my!!

Love the crimped hair~

Lookin good!

Is it sad to admit I'd wear the polka dotted leggins on a regular day?

I was jealous of Tecia's bangs.

Our disco ball! (A pumpkin covered in tinfoil, pretty creative Sue)

My job rocks, I get to help others, work with awesome people and have fun too!

 

The night didn't end there, after work Tyler and I  went out to eat and to the movies with friends. And because I can't get enough of Halloween I dressed up again! Haha, I may have a slight obsession....

Happy Halloween! Hope you all enjoyed the festivities as much as we did!