Tyler & Jessica: August 2013

Back to school, doesn't mean anything when you don't have anyone going to school!

As everyone is sending their kids back to school today, I'm once again reminded of a special event I'm missing out on because I am not a mother. Wanting a child for us goes way beyond just feeling baby hungry. I want those moments with a new born baby, don't get me wrong, but I also want to see a child grow up, I crave to take them back to school shopping. ( Hey, I love to shop.) I want to help them to learn to ride a bike, hold them when they scrape their knee for the first time, and I can't wait to take pictures of my son or daughters first prom, or cheer for them at their first sporting event. Sometimes being infertile just hurts, and there's a million reasons why. So please cherish the small and big moments you have with your children, even if they are driving you crazy, because believe it or not I will be soooo excited to be able to say that one day. And when that day comes you can remind me that this is what I wished for!

So to take my mind off of things I thought I would do everything that my friends /relatives wish they could have done today, if they didn't have kids. I slept in, yep I got a full 8 hours of sleep, jealous yet? I went running, can't do that while you are prego or if you have kids at home. I also got caught up on my blog, it's been seriously neglected this summer. (Partly because I'd rather be outside then sitting by a computer inside.) Then I did some digital scrap booking while watching one of my favorite shows, One Tree Hill. (Beware there are some spoilers coming). I love this show because I can totally relate to one of the characters Brooke Davis. I cried the episode she told her boyfriend she will never have kids, then cried again as she watched her friends around her get pregnant, while being happy for them she secretly kept her struggle inside. Then there is the heart breaking episode where they come so close to adopting a baby, only to have the birth mother change her mind at the hospital. Kind of depressing huh? I should have stopped watching, haha. You can see why Tyler doesn't watch this show with me. It gets better I promise. Eventually she gets her miracle, she becomes pregnant with twins. She delivers, they take them home and her and her husband are super tired, days without sleep between the twins, trying to find the balance of family life, work, and time with each other. After all of that her character makes the comment that this is her dream, this is all she's ever wished for and she wouldn't trade it for anything, not even a full eight hours of sleep. It's silly that a tv show could remind me that our dream is worth fighting for, but it did. And on a day that I really needed a push to not give up and to not be discouraged. Someday we will have our family, whether its through adoption, or fertility treatments, we will have a family.

" A new baby is like the beginning of all things, wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities."- Eda J. Le Shan. (Thanks Aunt Rae for sharing this quote)

So until we get our family, we will be dreaming of the possibilities.....

Pound the Pavement for Parenthood

As most of you know we have been trying to start our family. It's been a long road, and we've hit quite a few bumps a long the way. One of my teammates from the Ragnar has also struggled with infertility. She suggested we check out Pound the Pavement for Parenthood. They are an organization that organize 5k races for couples who are trying to come up with the financial means to adopt or do IVF. (Invitrofertilization) um, what an awesome idea! I looked into it a little more and we signed up for their next race. It was in Ogden Utah. The money for registration goes towards the "sponsor" couple, but the great thing is several doctors got together and donated a free round of IVF and a couple cycles at half off. That is a HUGE deal. IVF is not cheap, we are talking anywhere from 10-20 thousand dollars not cheap. (Too bad we learned that by paying for it a few times already.) We decided to enter the race and cross our fingers we won the drawing. We had some family and friends come down to Utah to help us out by putting our name in the drawing when they registered. The cool part was that they offered not only the 5k but a one mile fun run for people who wanted to walk and the kids. Unfortunately we did not win the drawing. But I would do it again in a heart beat, even knowing we wouldn't win. It was awesome to see the group of people that were there, supporting friends, coworkers or family. Sometimes it's easy to feel alone when you are struggling with infertility. How hard is it to make a baby right? (Pretty dang hard for some of us.) And it's awkward to talk to someone who is struggling when you don't know what to say. During the race I was reminded of how many people do struggle with this and it was good to know I'm not alone. We are so lucky to have friends and family gunning for us. We love and thank all of you, whether you could come to the race today or not.

Me and the cutest pregnant person ever! She's also my gorgeous cousin :)

Our good friends from Rexburg came and brought their kids.

My nephew was so excited to be in a "race". Grandpa gave them bears for being good.

Here's the group! Thanks guys we love you!

We decided to make the trip to Utah count, we visited Lagoon!

Our nephew getting to ride his first roller coaster ever! He was a little nervous.

As soon as we got off he said, "Lets do that again."

Our first date outside of our hometown was to Lagoon. It's been awhile since we've been back.

One of the best rides is the train, great for the kids and the adults. Plus you get to rest those tired feet from standing in line and walking all day.

Who knew I was so good at the arcade games? First toy I have ever one, my nephew loved it.

The best place to fall asleep. Tyler has great shoulders for that, it seems all the nephews/ nieces have fallen asleep there a time or too.

If any of you are interested in finding out more on races like the one we did today check out their website. They have upcoming races, maybe one will be close to you. If any of you live in St. George there's one coming in September. If you don't know who to run for we have some cousins that are racing and they would love the support! Their names are David and Kara Peterson, we wish them the best of luck!

www.poundthepavementforparenthood.com

Check them out on Facebook too for news of upcoming events!

There's also another group that raises money for infertility. Their name is Footsteps for Fertility. Check out their Facebook page for upcoming races and information. They have an upcoming race in Pocatello, Idaho. It will be September 14. We will be participating in this race too, maybe we will have better luck winning the raffle this time. ;) We will be crossing our fingers!

Wasatch back Ragnar

How do you explain what Ragnar is? It's two hundred miles of running, laughing, driving, eating, maybe some crying and definitely no sleep! This is the first year Tyler and I have ever done this, and we were on different teams! Tyler's team was made up of our friends from Utah. They are incredible and good, they live to do ragnar each year. My team was a complete surprise :) I only knew one girl on the team of 12 runners. After the race I came home with 5 new friends! Some of you still might be confused, that's ok. It all sounded a little crazy to me too at first. You get a team of 12 runners, 6 people in each van. We started in Logan and someone from our team was running at all times, until we reached Park City. Each runner runs a total of 3 legs, some runners running a total of over 20 miles. There is lots of cheering, crazy decorate vans, people in weird outfits and people of all shapes and sizes running along the side of the road. By the time the race is over all you want to do is shower and crash! That's exactly what we did. The next morning we stretched our muscles by walking around beautiful Park City, Utah. Despite the sore muscles and lack of sleep, we just might be crazy enough to run it again next year.

We decorated our "van" with our teams theme, "Defying Gravity". Little did our team captain know my favorite musical is "Wicked".

Here are the amazing ladies that were a part of van #2 of our team. I couldn't have asked for a better group of girls!

Here's Tyler's team, they were also van #2.

Little did we know Tyler's team was going to smoke us! This is the only exchange we saw each other at until it was over.

These 2 girls are A-MAZING runners! I'm sure "S" got tired of my constant questions about where to start and how to train. I'm also glad they took such good care of Tyler and kept him feed during this race.