A lot
has happened since last Valentine’s Day. Last year on Valentine’s Day we woke
up early and started heading to Boise for my appointment. After weeks of
getting IM (intramuscular) hormone injections it was time to do invitro again. My sister in law
and her two kids traveled with us, mainly to keep Tyler company while I was on
bed rest. We were optimistic that this time would work; it was Valentine’s Day
after all! About the time we had past Pocatello I received a phone call from my
doctor, which was unusual because I usually talked to the nurses. She had some
bad news, while unfreezing our frozen embryos we only had one survive the
process and to make it even worse the embryo that survived was not our best egg.
She advised that we bag it. (She said it in a more doctor like manner of course.)
I talked her into implanting it anyway,
we were already on our way and I had not just gotten IM injections for the last
month two to three times a day for nothing! Needless to say my hormones were
doing the talking. I got off the phone told Tyler what was happening and
started to cry. Thank goodness for Tyler, he cheered me right up and reminded
me that we were only suppose to think happy thoughts this round! So after my
personal cheerleader changed the mood we started to call our little egg “Nemo”,
and decided that it was going to be ok after all. We went to the appointment, everything went
great and then I spent the evening in a medicated haze while Tyler took his
sister out for the evening. We stayed
with my brother in laws mom and she treated us like family the second we walked
in the door. I was treated like a princess and basically didn’t have to do one
thing for myself. We had a great week getting to know them and building
memories that we will always remember, thank you so much “D” and “D”.
As you
have probably guessed by now, invitro, once again, did not work for us. We
don’t regret giving it a try, we learned a lot about each other. (Although it
would be nice to have our money back.) Not many people knew we were trying
invitro, just our friends and family. It
was something we did in private, this is the first time I have talked about it
publicly, and even now I’m having second thoughts whether to share this on our
very public blog. Hopefully it will show
how ready and willing we are to start our family through adoption. And not just
because nothing else has worked, but because we realized how important having family
is. We would not have made it through the last year without our friends and
families support. From the encouraging words, to prayers, to being willing to
give me a shot in the butt! Yes, you heard right, it is extremely hard, but not
impossible, to give yourself an IM injection in your gluteus maximus. Good thing I’m a nurse and worked with plenty
of people who already had the right skills. Nurse “A” gave me my first one, she
is super nice and doesn’t like to hurt anybody so when I handed her the honey
like substance in a syringe with an 18 gauge needle I thought she might back
out. And my brave sister in law was
taught by my friend “C” to give me the shots in the evening. I tried to teach
Tyler, but it didn’t go well. He has many skills but giving shots is not one of
them, he does not like needles. ;) If we have learned anything the past year it is that there is no limit to the amount of love that our hearts can hold, family is not determined by blood alone, and to cherish every day we have. We know there is a special mother and child out there that is waiting to become part of our family. We will continue to wait patiently for you to come into our lives at the right time.
In the meantime, we celebrated Valentines Day just the two of us. We ate at our favorite Thai restaurant and stopped by Sammy’s for dessert. (A shake with a piece of pie mixed in, they are yummy, this is the second time we have gottent one, I’m sure they aren’t healthy for you.) We were in for a surprise, free entertainment, a poetry slam. Neither one of us had been to a poetry slam before, it was a unique experience. We had a great night and we hope you did too!
3 comments:
You are amazing! You have a great attitude and I teared up reading your post. Good luck Jess! I hope a baby finds you and your hubby soon!
I can't wait for you guys to become parents! you are 2 of the most deserving and amazing people that I know. :) We love you guys and pray for you often!
So hey! So one of my FB friends posted your LDS profile and that is how I ended up here! I so feel your struggles with infertility, having gone through them myself and the heartache of wanting to have a baby. And, yes, those 18g needles are not fun to stick in your butt! I hope you won't mind me stalking your blog to keep up on your progress. :) I wish you good luck and hope the best for you.
Barb Scoresby (now Beus)
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