Back to school, doesn't mean anything when you don't have anyone going to school!

As everyone is sending their kids back to school today, I'm once again reminded of a special event I'm missing out on because I am not a mother. Wanting a child for us goes way beyond just feeling baby hungry. I want those moments with a new born baby, don't get me wrong, but I also want to see a child grow up, I crave to take them back to school shopping. ( Hey, I love to shop.) I want to help them to learn to ride a bike, hold them when they scrape their knee for the first time, and I can't wait to take pictures of my son or daughters first prom, or cheer for them at their first sporting event. Sometimes being infertile just hurts, and there's a million reasons why. So please cherish the small and big moments you have with your children, even if they are driving you crazy, because believe it or not I will be soooo excited to be able to say that one day.  And when that day comes you can remind me that this is what I wished for! 

So to take my mind off of things I thought I would do everything that my friends /relatives wish they could have done today, if they didn't have kids. I slept in, yep I got a full 8 hours of sleep, jealous yet? I went running, can't do that while you are prego or if you have kids at home.  I also got caught up on my blog, it's been seriously neglected this summer. (Partly because I'd rather be outside then sitting by a computer inside.)  Then I did some digital scrap booking while watching one of my favorite shows, One Tree Hill. (Beware there are some spoilers coming). I love this show because I can totally relate to one of the characters Brooke Davis. I cried the episode she told her boyfriend she will never have kids, then cried again as she watched her friends around her get pregnant, while being happy for them she secretly kept her struggle inside. Then there is the heart breaking episode where they come so close to adopting a baby, only to have the birth mother change her mind at the hospital. Kind of depressing huh? I should have stopped watching, haha. You can see why Tyler doesn't watch this show with me. It gets better I promise. Eventually she gets her miracle, she becomes pregnant with twins.  She delivers, they take them home and her and her husband are super tired, days without sleep between the twins, trying to find the balance of family life, work, and time with each other. After all of that her character makes the comment that this is her dream, this is all she's ever wished for and she wouldn't trade it for anything, not even a full eight hours of sleep. It's silly that a tv show could remind me that our dream is worth fighting for, but it did. And on a day that I really needed a push to not give up and to not be discouraged. Someday we will have our family, whether its through adoption, or fertility treatments, we will have a family. 

" A new baby is like the beginning of all things, wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities."- Eda J. Le Shan. (Thanks Aunt Rae for sharing this quote) 

 So until we get our family, we will be dreaming of the possibilities.....